Christmas Eve. My parents and sis came over. They've been coming to my apartment now for the past couple years and I've come to not only enjoy it, but love it. My mom does so much work between thanksgiving and Christmas, it's nice to have them over and they get to sit still for a change. Short list of what I've had to drink so far - a beer, a spiked egg nog, 2 glasses of wine (working on the third) and a shot of disaronno. (which is quite good by the way - the commercials are terrible. I mean who really goes to a bar and orders that?!? Although I might be now. lol) The peanut is still out with her dad. She always spends christmas eve with her father. Splitting time. As long as I get to see her Christmas morning, I'm negotiable on almost every other point. She's very excited for Santa to come visit. There were a couple things she wanted Santa to bring her and I had to explain to her that, um "Santa" couldn't always do everything- but he may still bring you other surprises.
Which leads me to the semi-shoddy construction of some of today's toys. I put together her big gift. The Disney Rapunzel Tower. It went together pretty easily, but a piece or two doesn't close as it should, and most of the stickers were already done. Do you remember when we were kids and everything our parents put together for us had a gazillion stickers?! My poor dad stayed up one year till like 1am putting on stickers to my Barbie Van. I don't know I guess I was kind of looking forward to doing that. As tedious and annoying as it would be, I still wanted to do it. and Mattel took away that opportunity. Oh well - I'm sure there will be something else for me to retell to Abby when she's an adult.
Another note, I've come late to the Ryan Adams party. I know many of my friends have often talked about how amazing he is; as a singer, songwriter, etc. But for a while I really didn't see it. But some friends of mine played me a couple songs that drew me in. A song I just heard recently has struck a heartstring. "Lucky Now" is the name of the song. Here's the beginning:
"I don’t remember were we wild and young
All that faded into memory
I feel like somebody I don’t know
Are we really who we used to be
Am I really who I was"
Something about his voice, the way he sings these words, really has my mind moving. Because there are far to many days where I feel like him. I feel like a person I don't know, and yet I think I'm still the person I used to be. But there are times that I don't see her anymore. I know I've talked about this before, but it's true. Sometimes it takes someone else to make the questions you're asking yourself clearer. I think she's still in me, that girl of 8 years ago - never mind the one I was in college! At this point I'm just looking for the girl I was when I first got married. She is who I miss most. There are elements of that girl still with me today - But I was 24 then? different time.
Well, it's almost time to play Santa. my peanut is home and hopefully passed out. I love this time of year.
Merry Christmas my friends.
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