Promises and sickness

After being sick for longer than I care to remember, I think I can safely say I'm better. Strep throat is no joke and frankly I'm disgusted with my doctor. I realize that they prescribe medicine to treat you based on symptoms and exam but honestly - how can you prescribe incorrect meds for strep throat? Here's the deal: I had a bad sore throat and they gave me amoxicillan. After 10 days, I was sorta good but not quite there. I went back in, tested positive for Strep, and they gave me the same medicine. AGAIN. Took it for ten days, and was good for a day or two, then got raging sick again. Went to the medhelp clinic in my area, and they gave me different meds. CRAZY! and basically told me that amoxicillan is good for nothing. Great. So now, after another ten days of meds, I'm actually better. See, what pisses me off here, is that my primary doc should know my history. Read my fucking file and you'd know that sore throats are the bain of my existence. So don't fuck around. Give me REAL MEDS. Stuff that actually treats a bacterial infection. Which, by the way, is what Strep IS. I didn't go to med school and even I know this.
So my sickness ended in time to celebrate my peanuts 5th birthday. I can't believe she's 5. Where did 5 years go? We went to NYC to see my sister and trudge through the American Girl Store. For any of you who are unaware of what this is, it's 3 floors of little girl heaven. Dolls, and clothes, and furniture, and pets to go with the dolls, and a doll hospital, tea party, etc. It was mobbed with people. I've been hesitant for a while now to even get her a doll cause honestly she likes animals better than dolls. You have no idea how many stuffed animals we have. I've considered a stuffed animal apocalypse but figured that might not bode well for her future mental stability. But she started to show some interest in the dolls, so I figured that would be a fun birthday treat. She did love it - but, typical to her, she picked her doll, one outfit, and the cat pet, and was done in like a half hour. It's so funny how you can plan this elaborate event for your kid and they're bored in like 10 minutes. Or more interested in something you didn't plan on at all. I think the most fun abby had was throwing pennies in the fountains at Roc Center with my sis. I think Abby misses her. She loves her Auntie. It makes me happy to watch my sister and Abby. They are wonderfully alike, and they seem to understand each other which makes my heart happy.
Of course in the middle of all this fun, about halfway into our visit to American Girl, she turned to me and said "I want to leave NOW." So to avoid the meltdown that was T-minus a minute away, we left. Again the fact that she's 5 is amazing to me. She's going to start soccer next week, and school in the fall. How did that happen? My world is changing all over again. Now it'll be school events, homework, backpacks, soccer practice and running, running,running...But I'm excited for all of it.
On a separate but related note, my sister and I had a talk this week that made me realize that I've been doing something to myself that is unnecessary. Putting added pressure on myself where I don't need to. I'm very aware of the promises I make to my child. Like when Abby says, "Mommy I want you to take me to Sea World!!" I don't say, "Sure I will" cause right now, I don't know when I"ll be able to afford a trip like that. So I say I hope that one day I can do that. I don't want to give her false hope and have her be disappointed. It makes me mental when I hear about parents who do that shit to kids. Don't make promises you can't keep has always been my mantra in life and in work. I don't ever want to be the parent that doesn't follow through on the promises I make to my child. I want to always show her that I do as i say I'm going to. However, what I have to remember is what things are most important. My sis called it an "embarrassment of riches". Choosing between two great things is not breaking a promise. If I don't take my child to a movie or to an event, she's not going to be in therapy in 15 years going, "My mom never took me to see Tangled!" The promises I need to make sure I always keep, are when she NEEDS me. Like she wants me to be at her soccer games, or gymnastic practice, or when there's a school event that I SHOW UP. Or when the boyfriend breaks her heart and she needs a hug - or support to do the best she can. Drying her tears when she's hurt. Those are the things she will judge me on as a parent. Not whether we colored eggs or saw a movie. So, I realize that I'm being to hard on myself. My sister put it in perspective for me in a way I hadn't thought about. Thanks to her, I remember now what I need to focus on. Sometimes with all the running around and efforts to do the right thing, I forget what the real battles are.