I've been sick all week. Nothing like a bout of Strep Throat to suck the life out of you. So it's been time on the couch, and time in bed, and countless hours watching dumb shit on tv. I actually sat through the entire movie "fast and the furious". For two reasons. Vin Diesel. and I was to exhausted to change the channel. The remote was across the room. The movie had terrible dialog, a weak story, and the action was...mediocre. But watching Vin Diesel in a wife beater drive a fast car? well, that was alright. What can I say? I'm a girl.
There are things that I miss about being sick when you are with someone. You know when you are sick, it's always nice to have someone crawl into bed next to you and hold you. To feel them breathing on your back, and making you warm. Having that person look at you and say "Baby, I hate that your sick" and then give you a hug even though he knows damn well he's gettin' it next. I miss having somone there to care for me even when I look and feel like shit. To be able to ask them to run to the store for kleenex, or medicine or ginger ale. (which is only good while your sick - why is that??) I don't have that anymore. I have to self soothe. It sucks to be honest. I miss giving that kind of love and kindness to someone else. Feeling each others foreheads to see who is warmer from fever. Comparing who feels worse, and what meds are you taking today? Still having sex even while sick because for that short time you'll feel really, really good.
But I don't have that. So instead, I will watch shitty tv, nap on the couch, and run a bath by myself and soak away my ick. Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Being sick will do that to you.
So, with tears streaming down my face, I will go run a hot bath, soak in the bubbles, and listen to the new Adele cd for the 50 millionth time. At the end I will be through my mood and likely stronger than I was an hour ago. Please don't mistake this momentary contemplation for weakness. I'm the strongest motherfucker you'll ever meet. I may be sensitive, and warm hearted, and emotionally intuitive, but I can handle almost anything and survive.
I would just like some other arms to to wrap around me and make me feel completely invinceable if only for a moment.
